Anxiety Attack

Living with Life-Long Suicidal Depression since at least 4-years-old (mid 1970s); and Migraine Headaches that have been regular (at least 1 to 2 times a week [more weeks now are turning in to at least 2 days] since the mid 1990s) and many other health problems that are on and off weekly or monthly; Extra Debt that I was pressed in to; which can cause me to lose the house, SSDI so it is hard to earn extra money to get out of Debt; and with Life-Long Suicidal Depression, in addition to the Major Pains, I really have been desiring more to be able to go Home to be with my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

I would greatly appreciate any feed back.

#MentalHealth #Migraines #Depresion #SuicidalIdeation #Debt #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #BPD #Bipolar1 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #BipolarDepression #BipolarIDisorder #BipolarDisorder #BipolarI #BipolarType1 #CheerMeOn #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDisorders #MigraineHeadaches #AutismSpectrumDisorder #AutismSpectrum #Autistic #SeparationAnxietyDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #IllnessAnxietyDisorder #SeparationAnxiety #AnxietyAttack #AdrenalInsufficiency #AnkylosingSpondylitis #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #DistractMe #Selfharm #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #PanicAttacks #worry #highfunctioningautism #AttentionDeficitHyperactivityDisorder #DiabetesType2 #DiabetesII #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #IfYouFeelHopeless #suicidal

I’m done with all this 🤬
The whole year since now it’s been the s*** year that I had in the last 7y since I’m in Uk.
All started since I’ve been bullied, I fixed it, I had problems at home, abroad, i fix them (more or less), I find a solution for my health (for my leg ulcer, thank for I don’t have diabetes and still waiting for a referral to hospital) but again I’ve been bullied.
After their marvellous investigation in which they said is no evidence for being offended, threatened and mocked and after offering a mediation as solution (even tho I said clear that the mediation in not the solution for a lad that have 0 respect for me), the lad haven’t went to mediation.
Now because I ve appealed the decision of the grievance, the lad is back at work.
My mental health went out on the drain.
At 4 this morning, after being told my manager that I need to behave to be respectful with that lad and some other things, like being my fault and my blame bcus he don’t behave, I had a very bad reaction: start crying.
I left the office and went somewhere where no one can see how sissy I am, I had a very bad anxiety attack, one of my colleague which is as well junior team leader come and we’ve talked, I felt like I’m suffocating.
Is not my fault that the lad is behaving badly, I always respected my colleagues even if they don’t deserve it.
Now im home, a bit calmer than work time but is i don’t know how to fix it.
For sure I understand that now they’re investigating again or it should be and if they don’t take any kind of disciplinary actions, he’ll do it again and again till I’ll go.

My mental health went away since last night when I’ve seen it and in the morning after all that start crying and couldn’t stopped, I really don’t know what I’ll do.
I had a break up from my partner yesterday as well because of this job, we’ve been together for 13y.
Im a mess and I know it but I’ll not quit my job for a jerk
#Depression
#Anxiety
#AnxietyAttack

Is it possible to request an overnight stay at a hospital for a mental breakdown? I don’t want to be sent home after a few hours and I don’t want to go to a mental hospital though. I wasn’t sure if it was possible to request something like that. #MentalHealth #OtherMentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #Depression #SuicidalIdeation #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #AnxietyAttack

So, today my son and his girlfriend went to Chicago for the day to walk around the shops. I knew about this for 3 days but as soon as I got up I said goodbye and went on my walk. I couldn’t stop crying cause I was thinking every scenario of what was going to happen. My son said he was going to keep me posted. Once I got to the mall o was still crying but talking to my mom helped. I was about to leave then my son texted saying we made it to Chicago. All of a sudden my heart literally dropped. I immediately sat down at Barnes and Noble and started deep breathing. I did not want to draw attention to myself. I’m very proud of myself that I managed this attack on my own. He did text me and FaceTime me when I got home. Now he is on the train heading back home as I’m typing this.

Due to a medication accident, I had a seizure today. This was a crazy and scary experience. Thoughts and prayers for everybody #pills #AnxietyAttack

I feel so sick and anxious and I want to cry. I just kinda need someone to talk to. #ChronicIlless #ChronicNausea #AnxietyAttack

I am terrified about what’s going to happen next.

Long story short 2 nights ago I had an hr meeting about my 2 colleagues that had a conflict at the beginning of the month, gave another statement as a witness and I was guaranteed that my name will never surface but I’m simply terrified about what’s going to happen next.
If my name will never surface from that statement it’s going to be good for me but if t my name reaches the surface I’ll go again through a trauma which I don’t think I can relive.
Being a witness in the conflict between the 2 colleagues (Y and X) in which Y bullied me constantly for 9 months, my head can’t go further that the next statement: he’s gonna find out that I give another statement and he’s gonna make my life a living hell.
I am stressed and anxious again, it’s over my understanding l, the worst thing is I can’t ask for help due to the fact that I am alone and I can’t trust anyone, I’m shy af as well 😔
From doing the right thing and as well telling my managers that I will not give another stat because it affects my mental health too bad to talk with hr about it and repeating again in more details it managed to terrify me, to have nigh terror again, to be afraid, to have anxiety attacks.
Beside all the crap is happening rn in my life with my mom, being so judgemental I can’t deal again with work problems.
I am again in a bad situation and I don’t see any escapes 😔
#AnxietyAttack
#Depression
#Fear

I haven't been on here for so long, it was my solace then I got so bad I forgot it was here. I'm so so lonely, I've tried so many ways to meet people but no one likes me. I've even started taking meds to change my personality but all I have is side effects. The loneliness causes panic attacks if I go out and my Dr stopped my anxiety meds because they're addictive but they were the only thing stopping me completely losing it. I just start crying in the street because I feel so overwhelmed and I don't even think how strange it must seem to others anymore. My family say I seem angry but how else would you feel when everyone dislikes you and you don't know why. I used to tell myself I was fine being alone but I actually think it's caused physical damage to me, the constant upset. We're not meant to be alone. Tomorrow I have to go to a non medical appointment and I can't sleep worrying im going to break down and cry. Drs used to have empathy and give me anxiety meds but the NHS keeps changing its rules with no regard to what it does to people. Their slow turn into privatisation has made me want to kill myself (I'm not going to now, don't report me). No one cares anymore in the NHS, we're just shoved from Dr to Dr with no consistency now, not allowed the same Dr even if you have chronic illnesses. I don't recognise this country anymore, something that made me feel safe is now killing me.#AnxietyAttack