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BPD (Feeling Empty & Binge Eating)

Bingeing functions to 'fill' an individual, temporarily suppressing feelings of emptiness. Purging results in a euphoric 'high' of temporary relief followed by fatigue, which combats emotional surges of anger often experienced by those with BPD.#BPD #BingeEating #EatingDisorder

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I need a pat on the back…

I’m type 2 diabetic - I was diagnosed in 2019, on my birthday. The nurse that I spoke to gave me the impression that I could CURE it. That one day, if I worked hard enough, I wouldn’t be diabetic anymore. I wouldn’t have to constantly watch what I’m eating and drinking like a hawk. I kept thinking that for about a year, until a different nurse told me the cold, hard truth. I will always be diabetic, and I will always be fighting to keep control over my sucky pancreas. (Yes - I’m bitter about it).

For 2020, I managed to get my diabetes in remission and I was so fricking happy.

But, I had a reeeally rough time last year (2021). I was completely unable to exercise for months on end and I hated it. My HBA1C started steadily climbing upwards despite cutting down carbs and avoiding sweet stuff. Then, at the beginning of THIS year, I started going for 45-60minute SLOW walks with my sister and baby nephew once a week. My numbers began going down. I’m not in remission yet, but I plan to be.

And recently, I’ve been struggling a fair bit with my mental health and the urge to binge eat has been seriously strong. I really really want a slice of chocolate fudge cake from my favourite bakery. But my problem is that I can never stick to having just the one.

So, at the beginning of this week I decided to buy a packet of my favourite biscuits - Hobnobs! It’s just an oaty biscuit, but I love them. Each biscuit is 3g of sugar, so I’ve been allowing myself two or three a day. I haven’t pigged out, I’ve been sticking with it and I’m really proud of my restraint.

I could really do with a pat on the back right now. This is such hard work. No one told me it would be this hard.

#chronicillnesswarrior #ChronicPain #Diabetes #Type2Diabetes #POTS #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #AutonomicDysfunction #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #InterstitialCystitis #Migraines #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #BingeEating #Food

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Struggling #BingeEating #compulsiveeating #EatingDisorders

I have been struggling. I went to an eating disorder rehab earlier this summer. Being back home has brought back old triggers. What do you all do when trying to avoid triggers?

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Changing Drs possibly

I’ve been with the same Psychiatrist for 10 years or a little more. I feel like I’ve been helped at times and others not so much, mainly because I questioned some of the meds she suggested and decided I was not willing to try them. I’m scared of course of changing because I’m familiar with her, but I feel our dr/patient relationship has become too familiar and she just prescribes whatever and leaves too much of the decision on my end. I want a Dr that tells me confidently what I need and should try and be more firm in their suggestions. I know I ultimately have to decide what I want in meds., I just would
Like a little more assurance from them instead of being non chalant about the meds, And just throwing them out there. We do not have much psychiatric help here in my town and there’s pretty much a waiting list. So not sure when I’ll get into the new Dr, but I’m still keeping the standing appt with my current psychiatrist in case I’ll have to wait a few weeks to see the new one. Anyone relate? I hope I’m making the right decision. #changingpsychiatrist #newdoctor #feelstuck #ifeellikeapillhead #ijustwanttofeelbetter #justtryingtosurvive #needmotivation #needtoloseweight #carb &sugaraddction
#Depression &anxiety #obsessivethoughtpattern
#BingeEating #foodcomforts
#hidingout

anxiety

We support each other through all kinds of anxiety. Don't go through it alone.
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Missing my 4 legged friend #Depression #anxiery #Bipolar2Disorder #Lupus #Insomnia #BingeEating

So today I’m very sad. The pic above is of my best bud. I love him so much. He’s gotten me through a lot of ups and downs. Recently I fractured my shoulder and have been unable to work. My dog has been at my exes to let me have some time to heal. I wanted to finally pick him up yesterday but due to someone in his household developing a mild case of covid, I cannot go get him right now. I was so disappointed 😢. I have really been struggling and I thought having him with ne would help. I’m depressed, anxious, and can’t sleep and when I have bad insomnia I binge eat. I feel really hopeless and helpless physically and mentally. Thank you for inviting me to this group and thanks for letting me share.

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Trigger Warning

After a stressful exam season and some termoil at home and a failed relationship I have started to binge about a week ago. I know when I binge starving is coming close behind.

Still going to therapy and I’ve discussed this with them. I’m tired of fighting my brain 😭
#AnorexiaNervosa #Stress #Anxiety #BingeEating

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Feeling hopeless today. Another day of #Gastroparesis and I am either starving or throwing up because I couldn't stop eating from insatiable hunger.

Just as the title says, I am eating myself sick. It doesn't matter what I eat. Soft foods, liquids, regular texture easy to digest foods. Gastroparesis apparently causes hunger signals to get mixed up. I've eaten until I threw up twice today. I was at the ER Saturday from other GP complications. This is not a life. It's just suffering with little good bits mixed in few and far between. I'm so sick of specialist after specialist. I can't afford it. The copays, the meds, the special food, all the food that gets wasted. It's expensive. I'm disabled so it's a one income household. #ChronicIllness #Depression #BingeEating #gastroparesissucks

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Who Else Totally Binged Yesterday & Now Feels So Shameful About It? #EatingDisorders

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a joyous time for family and friends. However, if you have an eating disorder, it can prove to be very challenging!!!! Normally I am extremely restrictive about my food intake. Yesterday, I was surrounded by comforting people and comfort food and I really binged big time. I couldn't stop eating. No matter how much I tried, I would go back to the fridge and heat up leftovers. I even ate dessert for breakfast this morning, cuz I spent the night at my cousin's house. I was completely out of control. So, when I got home around Noon today, I started restricting. But, in a very negative way. I let myself have an apple and some crackers all day. I drank a ton of water. I kept thinking that the water would magically cleanse my body of all the calories that I had ingested. I am not doing well. I want to cry. I don't want to spiral out of control. I think making this post has helped some already. Any advice for me?
#Anxiety #Depression #ChronicIllness #AnkylosingSpondylitis #Narcolepsy #LivingWithPOTS #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Bipolar1Disorder #PsoriaticArthritis #ChronicPain #Migraine #Endometriosis #Lumbarfusion #SpinalStenosis #SpinalFusion #prolactinoma #Love #Medication #Recovery #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #PudendalNeuralgia #Undiagnosed #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #AnorexiaNervosa #BingeEatingDisorder #BingeEating
#EatingDisorders

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Spending anxious money

My anxiety is currently running high at the moment im waiting to hear from my new job about my start date so I cant yet hand my notice in. This is very time limited I have to hand it in before Oct 31st to start in Jan but my new job is taking ages to tell me if my placement will be ready in time. The stress/anxiety is making me spend money on things I don't need to deal with these feelings. Im also over eating as well. #ADHD #Anxiety #Overspending #BingeEating

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#numb #BingeEating #compulsivebehaviors ##Uncertainty

I can't describe what I feel since months ago. Only the occasional crying that let out because its better to express and feel something. I binge eat and I compulsively cut the skin of my feet and eat it (embarrassing 😳). I think this is probably on the way of me knowing what I really feel and what I really want. And the added watching videos on youtube and watching movies and series on Netflix. I wonder 🤔 why I have to do something all the time. I can't sit still without distracting myself. The psychometric test will take tome to be administered; until the end of September to take it and 3 months more for the results. It's not a simple process. They will be analyzing the possibility of ADHD inattentive type and aspects of my personality.

It's a constant battle in my mind to stop what I am doing even if its boring and I don't love it to get things done. I am a procrastinating all the time. I can't do things and reward myself afterwards. Set goals or see in the future something for me. I just am in the present and looking inmediate rewards with the above activities and with buying material things. I am stuck. Could be that I don't want to face the future just like I did as a child when I didn't want to grow up. I have childhood trauma to work on. Also had #SelectiveMutism and #SocialAnxiety which was never addressed. I can speak in past about this matter, but I am not sure I am over it. Yes probably the #SelectiveMutism because I can speak in all situations except not that good in job interviews or authority figures like a boss or supervisor. Looks more like social anxiety and insecurity. There's a lot I don't like about jobs, and I don't want to work for money. I want meaning or at least peace of mind because I don't do well in stressful job environments or high demanding positions or working with various task at the same time. Also getting organized under these circumstances is very hard. Just wanted to express myself and read about people that understand or have similar experiences.

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