Bipolar 2 Disorder

Don’t tell me to conquer my “demons”. That I have
“emotional baggage”. That I need to clean up my life, repent, repair my relationships and restore my place in society. That I need to change my perspective from “half empty to half full”. Just think positive, smile, lighten up, etc. All of this is dripping with misogynistic beliefs and patriarchal values. No, I won’t put a fucking smile on my face for anyone. I don’t owe anyone pretty, or perfection. I don’t have to be anything other than what I am or feel. I am not ashamed of my mental illnesses or disabilities! I am not trying to rid myself of anything. I embrace all of me. All of my humanity, all my emotions all my feelings, all my wounds, and scars. Don’t ever, ever tell me, my trauma is “darkness”, “evil” or “demons”. That is emotional abuse and is part of the problem that caused most of us to get sick in the first place. Morality causes almost all suffering in society. Not the lack of it, but the strict enforcement of it that leads to all kinds of condemnations, violations of rights and lack of emotional intelligence and empathy in the world. I support Radical Self Acceptance!

#Bipolar2
#Bipolar1
#MajorDepressiveDisorder
#Depression
#SubstanceUseDisorders
#PTSD
#CPTSD

Don’t tell me to conquer my “demons”. That I have
“emotional baggage”. That I need to clean up my life, repent, repair my relationships and restore my place in society. That I need to change my perspective from “half empty to half full”. Just think positive, smile, lighten up, etc. All of this is dripping with misogynistic beliefs and patriarchal values. No, I won’t put a fucking smile on my face for anyone. I don’t owe anyone pretty, or perfection. I don’t have to be anything other than what I am or feel. I am not ashamed of my mental illnesses or disabilities! I am not trying to rid myself of anything. I embrace all of me. All of my humanity, all my emotions all my feelings, all my wounds, and scars. Don’t ever, ever tell me, my trauma is “darkness”, “evil” or “demons”. That is emotional abuse and is part of the problem that caused most of us to get sick in the first place. Morality causes almost all suffering in society. Not the lack of it, but the strict enforcement of it that leads to all kinds of condemnations, violations of rights and lack of emotional intelligence and empathy in the world. I support Radical Self Acceptance!

#Bipolar2
#Bipolar1
#MajorDepressiveDisorder
#Depression
#SubstanceUseDisorders
#PTSD
#CPTSD

Lots of ups and downs since my attempt in February. To be expected…but I have not certainly found it necessary to enter a PHP. I have experienced some rapid cycling again from BP2 and have been feeling all of the BPD things. Maybe more now that I know what it is. Anyway, I am hopeful that it will be good, if not for anything but to help get a routine and schedule.

I teeter between being exhausted from existing to being determined to take my life back…well build a new one. It’s really odd to pinpoint almost everything that my mental health has affected over the years…but also comforting? Relieves me of the feeling of being a complete screw up. Thinking about everything I’ve been through, I’m still surprised the breakdown didn’t happen sooner if I’m honest.

I’m learning what matters is that I keep going, one day at a time, one hour, one minute. And I can start over as many times as necessary. I hope everyone is doing well. 🫶🏾 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar2 #MentalHealth

Lots of ups and downs since my attempt in February. To be expected…but I have not certainly found it necessary to enter a PHP. I have experienced some rapid cycling again from BP2 and have been feeling all of the BPD things. Maybe more now that I know what it is. Anyway, I am hopeful that it will be good, if not for anything but to help get a routine and schedule.

I teeter between being exhausted from existing to being determined to take my life back…well build a new one. It’s really odd to pinpoint almost everything that my mental health has affected over the years…but also comforting? Relieves me of the feeling of being a complete screw up. Thinking about everything I’ve been through, I’m still surprised the breakdown didn’t happen sooner if I’m honest.

I’m learning what matters is that I keep going, one day at a time, one hour, one minute. And I can start over as many times as necessary. I hope everyone is doing well. 🫶🏾 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar2 #MentalHealth

#Anxiety so I completed my drug test and background check for my new job and I start working Monday I’m finally getting away from Sheetz and out of food service!!! I just wanted to share how good God is and that he does answer prayers and I wanted to check on you @xokat and see how you’re doing this fine day I am sharing a win with you and you’ve been on my mind lately so I’m just checking up on you see how you’re doing

#Anxiety so I completed my drug test and background check for my new job and I start working Monday I’m finally getting away from Sheetz and out of food service!!! I just wanted to share how good God is and that he does answer prayers and I wanted to check on you @xokat and see how you’re doing this fine day I am sharing a win with you and you’ve been on my mind lately so I’m just checking up on you see how you’re doing