I knew my boyfriend stopped caring about me, but I didn't realize to what extent. I seriously don't think he cares if I live or die. I think I have a URI, because I've had this cold for longer than usual (it's not C***d; I was rested at the doctor), I've had mucus that suggests it (this isn't my first URI), and I'm sick of feeling sicker than usual. I was already sick of being sick and tired, but you know what I mean.
I lost a silver crown today, and I told my boyfriend. As I expected, he didn't respond. When he has a toothache or anything, I express sympathy, but I get nothing from him.
I asked for him to turn the temperature down earlier, after using the bathroom and getting all sweaty (he complains I use too many tissues, but one of the things I use them for is wiping sweat off to cool down faster, because it increases my anxiety to be too hot or cold), and as I said in another post, he recently told me when I need the temperature adjusted, he only does so by one degree. I think sometimes he only pretends to change it, because it doesn't feel any different. After several minutes of not feeling any cooler, I asked him again, knowing he'd get angry. He slammed his phone down on the bed, rolled over, and I heard him flip the air conditioner panel, and I think it's a tiny bit cooler now.
We had to go out today because it was housekeeping day, and I was glad to get some sun, although I definitely didn't feel well. I had gotten kind of stinky from being in bed for well over a week, so I used baby wipes to clean up (the shower has mold and is very slippery). I asked him to do my back, because I couldn't reach, and he snapped at me several times and got angry. I was shaky, sweaty, weak, and anxious from using the bathroom, and that really upset me. I cried a bit in the car.
I asked him (through text) for cough drops for my throat, because it gets sore and I have a cough, and when I got settled, I asked if he'd gotten them, and he said no.
I'm scared I'm having withdrawal symptoms from the doctor only giving me 1/2 the prescription (Xanax ER, but she gave me regular Xanax, because it takes longer to get the ER, and there's no guarantee Medicare would cover it, even then) that my (now retired) psychiatrist had. Xanax needs to be tapered VERY slowly, but she said it's the policy of the office to only give 0.05 mg (or mcg, whichever it is). I wasn't drug seeking, which is what I think she thought, but from what I've learned, that's too much too fast to cut a benzodiazepine.
Anyway, I told my boyfriend about my fears, and as I expected, he ignored me. I'm scared and alone!
There's more he's done (or not done), but I'll be surprised if anyone reads this far.