killmyself

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my bday is tomorrow and i don't wanna #killmyself

I'm turning 31 and i have friends,family and love.
I have my son who is 5 year old and a awesome bf ❤ The love n support means the most ❤

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#ReasonsToLive #SuicidalIdeation #Isolation

Here’s a picture of one thing I “waited for”- seeing my fave group, Pentatonix, live in concert. I told myself I could go that long. Then my husband was taking me to Vegas for his bowling tournament, but hey, it’s Vegas, I’ve never been. I told myself that after this trip, I don’t have to hold on any longer. I don’t have to stay alive out of guilt.
My chronic #nausea pretty much took over last month, with 2 trips to both Urgent Care facilities, and ER’s. Everything I ate...didn’t stay down. It went away, I thought yay! It’s done.
I’m now in Vegas, and it came back. Been sick for 2 days. Super fun.
I can’t wait to go home and see my kitties. But I’m ready to *really* go home. I’m so tired of feeling like shit everyday. NOTHING has come close to touching my migraines. It’s funny; I thought my bipolar or depression would cause me to want to #killmyself , but it’s the constant pain that I can’t escape.
Any old school Lutherans out here? Do you remember the hymn that starts with “I’m just a stranger here; Heaven is my home....” I’m ready to go home.

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Help #Marriage #alone #sad #Low

I’m at a low point I’m seeking #help I don’t have friends or family today for comfortable sharing my %struggles in my #Marriage with because I do not want my relationship or #husband or choice to stay in this relationship to be judged. My version of the story can make my husband sound insane like a horrible person but I love him to death and I can’t figure out a way to please him and not have to frustrate him or anger him all the time #ifeellikeshit I want to #Die I wish I could #killmyself but I worry about him being angry and my kids being hurt my family being disappointed and emotionally traumatizing my children so I don’t do it I’m miserable because I know I don’t make him happy and I’m scared to lose him.