Loneliness

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Loneliness

I have pretty much lost all hope that I’ll ever not feel lonely. It feels like now that I’ve graduated college, any chance of making any real connections is gone. Everyone says making friends as an adult is nearly impossible. And if it’s so difficult for neurotypical people, it feels like it must be impossible for me as a neurodivergent person. I can’t even make any acquaintances online.
#Loneliness #Depression #Autism

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Loneliness Setting Back In #Depression #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety

I saw this coming, but I didn’t have a way to fix it. After my theatre competition, spending all that time with someone I had met just a few weeks prior, I knew I was going to feel really alone once things went back to normal. Just a little background: I’m in a theatre class in school. We were doing a pantomime scene assignment. I didn’t have a partner, and this other girl in my class didn’t either. This was because her best friend was going to enter the upcoming theatre competition, which excused her from the theatre class assignments. So we got it done, and my theatre teacher asked if we wanted to enter the competition in the pantomime category. We decided we would. On the day of the competition, we spent seven hours together. We had gone from having never spoken to being (at least I thought) good friends. Before the competition, I knew I’d have to go back to finding random people in the class to work on stuff with, because there was no way she’d work with me over her best friend. However, after the competition, I thought maybe she would since we had so much fun with it. Today was the first day of class since the comp, so we were back to doing class assignments. We started a new one today, and I had some hope. But, lo and behold, she partnered with her best friend; no hesitation. There was one scene you could do for this assignment that required a group of three, but they didn’t do it. So, I’ve now returned to having to have my teacher find someone for me to work with. Long story short, on the way out of class, something else happened that made me feel even more excluded from everyone else. I’m trying so hard to make more friends, but it just seems to fail every time.

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I don’t know what to say but i don’t feel good.. I came back from my home and i am here alone.. Last night, i was feeling lonely and i couldn’t sleep.. Today,my heart feels so restless.. I don’t know why.. I mean when i am with someone, i am fine.. Then when i am alone, there is a strange feeling in my heart.. I don’t know what i am even thinking or something but all i know i am not okay.. I don’t even tell my family.. My chest gets heavy and it’s getting hard to breathe.. I feel like i am confused.. Right now, i have no stress, nothing but still i am not okay.. I was so happy back these days.. Now, it’s like this.. I don't have any energy to do anything.. I am just sitting on my bed being confused.. I can't just figure out which emotion i am actually having.. It's not happy or sad..Why it’s like this... #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety

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Feeling Alone #MentalHealth #Depression #lonely

I’ve been feeling alone a lot today, and I just wish I could find people my own age to talk to more (as nice as support is from non-peers). I had a great time hanging out with people all day at my theatre competition on Friday, but now in comparison, I’ve felt particularly alone.

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Feeling Alone #MentalHealth #Depression #lonely

I’ve been feeling alone a lot today, and I just wish I could find people my own age to talk to more (as nice as support is from non-peers). I had a great time hanging out with people all day at my theatre competition on Friday, but now in comparison, I’ve felt particularly alone.

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A little light on the way

So after the last 18 months of mental stress, turmoil, self hate & loneliness there seems to be a little light on the horizon. TUESDAY my new dog arrives (hopefully not cursing it now) so I will have not only a companion to play talk to and get out of the house with, but someone I can trust to be by my side no matter what. I can't describe how excited I am & how much this will change my outlook on life but my life in general. I CAN'T WAIT FOR HER TO ARRIVE!!!!!!!!!! 😁😁😁😁😁🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆😀🙃🙃😃😃😄😄

3 reactions 1 comment
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Only the Lonely #PTSD #Anxiety #Bipolar

I am working on getting used to my own company. I think of negative th8ngs when I'm alone and I'm trying to be more positive so I like being around me. Who wants to be around someone who is negative all of the time? I guess I need to talk to myself like I would talk to a lonely friend. I'm going to make a list of things to do. Maybe throw in positive affirmations for good measure? How do you handle lonliness?

150 reactions 45 comments