Relationships

Hi Everyone! This is my first time posting. I was seeking out a group like this because I need to be able to talk to people that understand what I'm going through.

I've been doing really well for a while, I started working finally after being on disability for 10 years, I'm taking care of 2 kids on my own and getting by, And I've been single since late July which is the longest I've ever been single for (I usually only last a month or two before I hook on to someone new)

So I was chugging along doing my thing and coping really well. And then I met someone this December. Long story short we were in talking/hooking up stages for 3-4 months and had talked a little about how he felt he needed more time before getting into a relationship. This combined with him living an hour away and being a horrible texter and a couple other things he did that were toxic really started triggering my abandonment trauma and now I'm finding myself falling into a Borderline episode. I'm healed enough that I'm able to see now what I'm doing that's unhealthy and where it's coming from, but not healed enough to stop myself from doing it. It's like I'm watching a movie and I'm saying No! Stop! don't do that! to myself but I'm still doing the things. I'm just really frustrated with myself and could really use some support. I'm really trying my hardest and doing my best to use my skills and I know I'm doing better than I used to but I want to be better so badly.

Thanks for letting me vent! Any feedback is welcome

Hi, my name is Anaconda33. I'm here because I'm tired of the stigma applied to the society that don't understand that we're like any other person and we have a disease that effects our brain. and should just as acceptable as someone who has diabetes or heart disease. To be honest, there have been so many times that wished I wasn't born this way and work so hard sometimes every day, but I was, and I really wish people were more understanding, If you don't take your medication and don't see a therapist- I don't think that's very smart, but I have lived with bi polar for 43 years now and I'm more than willing to help others out. To listen to what they have to say, and offer my advise.

Also, I have volunteered for NAMI, (National Alliance for Mental Illinois--for those who are unfamiliar with this wonderful non-profit organization who has many people, for several years) so I do have a lot of knowledge about mental illness. I have my good days and bad days, like every else. So I would also love to hear from others what their tips for dealing with relationships, and learning how to step back from a situation and think before I speak, catastrophic thinking (that's a big one for me) lol! and other things as they come up.

But after all the therapy I've had, books and other materials I have read, I do have a lot of understanding of mental illness to share. My friends reach out to me because they know how much I want to help and often refer to me as "their therapist". I like to talk a lot too, as you can see! Take care all! And be well.

#MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder

In September, 2023, we moved my 21 year old son into a residential life skills program for young adults with autism and developmental disabilities. It was a huge leap of faith for all of us.

Before he left, #Anxiety filled our house and consumed our thoughts. Would he be able to engage and participate? Would he handle the separation from me? Would the OCD that escalated in the wake of Covid-era isolation and its lack of supports and socialization render him stuck for hours every day? Would the staff be as wonderful as they seemed?

I told myself so many stories of what could go wrong – but I never allowed myself to hope for what could go right.

My son’s attitude about going away from home can best be described as “resignation.” “I know most people who are 21 have already gone away from their moms.”

“If it weren’t for Covid I probably would have already done a program.”

You get the gist.

Drop off was relatively quick – pull up, unload, few minutes of logistical talk with the staff, and go – he didn’t want a hug, or even to exchange goodbyes. He turned around, walked (bravely) into his new house – no tears, no entreaties to change the plan – and set off on his journey towards independence. Amazingly, I didn’t cry. Didn’t get teary, didn’t have to swallow past a lump in my throat, didn’t sob. (All things I’d done when I dropped off my daughter at Dartmouth six years earlier.) Maybe it was because I got such a great feeling from the staff. Maybe it was because he didn’t cry. Or maybe it was because I was ready – even if we didn’t know if he was.

Almost immediately my son was happy. He was engaged, comfortable, learning life skills and building independence, starting to form peer relationships. The staff turned out to be extraordinary. And he handled being away from me like a champ. This allowed for an incredibly positive anxiety-to-freedom ratio for me. Suddenly, my life was mine again. It became about figuring out how to fill my days, instead of my sons. Truly a transformative experience for me – and for him.

Before he went away, during the depths of his debilitating OCD (and the accompanying anxiety and depression), The New York Times Spelling Bee was the thing that initially had helped him start to recover – it became the thing that got him out of bed every day, had him smiling and laughing again, and facilitated bonding with family. When he

arrived at his residential program, he brought his love of the Bee to everyone there. The staff all became instantly obsessed with it, and it’s a constant source of conversation and connection. Every day, my son texts me asking, “did you get the pangram?” The time that text shows up lets me know if he’s having a relatively good day or a stuck one. On a recent Saturday morning, this text came through – and it’s just one more example of how the Bee is so much more than a game to us.

“Did you get the pangram yet? Good word for me. Considering I’m all grown up.” I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Now, six months into the program, he’s had his ups and downs. He’s still happy, and the staff is still awesome. The OCD waxes and wanes. Whether your kid is neurotypical, autistic, has anxiety or OCD, or is just trying to be themselves in this crazy world, this parenting gig is no joke. Elizabeth Stone said that having a child is “to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body.” That’s definitely what it feels like for me.

And right now, my child is walking around, hours away from me, part of an amazing community that keeps him safe and happy and helps him work through his struggles with OCD. I’m so proud of him, so lucky to have found the right program, and so thankful for the reminder that we need to take chances, push beyond comfort zones, and believe in our kids.

When getting treatment for metal health issues, we're often told that forcing ourselves to do things like socializing and activities (especially when the only thing you really want to do is lie in bed) is a way to combat depression. In DBT I've heard it referred to as "opposite action" or "behavioral activation".

However, I'm starting to think there must be a physical aspect to my exhaustion as well. Even when I have fun things planned with people I enjoy being around, my head feels heavy, my eyes want to close, I'd rather be sleeping. Everyday I wake up and immediately look forward to going back to sleep. Words cannot convey how incredibly frustrating this is. I am 27 and have the energy levels of an 82 year old. Not to mention, it affects my performance at work, my relationships, every aspect of my life is impacted by this constant sleepiness. I've gotten my vitamin levels and thyroid checked and all came back normal. So what's wrong with me??#Depression #ChronicFatigue #MDD #MentalHealth

Hi

My girlfriend was diagnosed with BPD .we've been dating for 1 year and since we received the diagnosis, we have tried to resolve our relationship problems.

She undergoes psychotherapy and is monitored by a psychiatrist. The problem is that even with all this, she has avoided doing the exercises asked of her and has become less and less committed to improving. Even her psychiatrist questioned this, saying that they could spend years doing sessions, but without her commitments they wouldn't go anywhere. For example, you can't sleep even with medication and spend the night on your cell phone. She has been told, for example, to get into the habit of leaving her cell phone outside her room and get used to going to sleep, but she still doesn't do it. And this has been affecting not only our relationship but also the way I feel. I have become increasingly stressed by recurring situations and more anxious throughout the day.

Finally, last week, we had a long conversation about dating problems and she urged me to be more affectionate and kind, even though I was available and worried about her 100% of the time. She said she continued to talk to her ex-boyfriend and other boys. She even told me that her ex is always asking her out at night. She only talks to male figures, it seems like she needs to feel more adrenaline, she says.

I was pissed off and what was already bothering me before bothered me even more. As if you don't know what is right or wrong in this situation!

I love her, but it makes me very insecure.

What can I do?

Thank you for reading my rant.