genralized

So I work part time at a retail store 🏬 and I’m having trouble. I’m not exactly sure whom I can trust and whom I can’t. My hours recently were reduced from around 25 to 15 and I inquired as to why. It’s a long story but as usual we have a store manager and two assistant managers, well I don’t exactly trust one of the assistant managers. Mostly because I bumped heads with the male assistant manager. I was having a manic episode day. I am diagnosed with
#Bipolar disorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #genralized anxiety disorder #OppositionalDefiantDisorder ,and so I got snippy with him. And I got wrote up all the while another employee literally almost came to blows with a customer,and she didn’t get wrote up at all. But the crazy part is I was told by pretty much all the managers I do a great job. I’m also currently working on getting social security disability. I do have a disability attorney and I’m scheduled for my second hearing involving my case in February. But it is causing me to stay in a state of constant anxiety 😥. I’m already a hypochondriac who fears death ☠️. And in conjunction with my other disorders, this added stress and anxiousness at work definitely isn’t helping matters at all. Which is why I’m pitching and pleading my case with social security to award me a disability check. Sorry just wanted to vent somewhere. And I’m 38 years old and I know that I’m expected to act like a adult and except that life isn’t fair. And that people especially (supervisors) are and can talk to you like a child or a dog and you have to accept it because you have a family and bills to pay. But with my mentality I absolutely despise authority figures to begin with cue you guessed it #OppositionalDefiantDisorder . Because of the aforementioned reasons listed above I don’t like being treated like that so I act out. I’m repeatedly told that it’s a part of life and it won’t change. But look at systemic racism and how things were 65/75 years ago. We have work to do still but a change was made. So my mind can’t process or understand why we can’t prevent authority figures from being hateful and employers from treating people like crap, and using termination and bill paying as a means of control. #Christian And the crazy part is I have no problem surrendering to God the God of the Bible. Jesus Christ I will obey but human authority figures nah I’d rather be equal 🟰 in authority so that they can’t terminate me or control me in a workplace. Meaning if they act ugly towards me I can then go sit down and not work and get paid and can’t be fired,wrote up,or hours get reduced this will aid in teaching them to be polite or respectful. And before anyone mentions it yes I know that that mentality is childish and ungodly as I’ve said I LOVE JESUS CHRIST AND GOD VERY MUCH! I don’t tell others what to believe or anything I respect everyone personal choices I still show genuine love and respect for others opinions and their persons because Jesus didn’t force himself on others and neither will I. But I believe these employers and supervisors need a dose of their own medicine. I’m definitely not trying to be ugly in my behavior it’s just so frustrating to me. Using the fact that people have to work and earn a paycheck to survive as a means of control all the while treat you badly is unfair. 80/90 years ago people of color were abused and we went to segregated schools,bathrooms, ordered food tne rear of the restaurant. We changed that mindset and behavior but modern day society allows employers and it’s managerial staff can’t mistreat us and control us but oh no we can’t fix that problem that’s why I get so angry at work and in life. And on the day of the incident I was walking away from the manager I had a issue with because when he approached me and asked the question “have you been in toys the whole time “ because my job is to straighten up and organize the products on the shelves, I know that it seems like a innocuous innocent question right? But there was a implication that I had neglected the other sections in the store and focused solely on one section when I had a witness that I was in another section of the store re straightening some products on the shelf. He had implied well i haven’t seen you! And when he snapped back at me I proceeded to walk away from him stating that under the law I’m entitled to reasonable accommodation and needed 5 minutes to collect myself to address him civil like and respectfully and was told that the reasonable accommodation rule didn’t apply in that situation. Again sorry I needed to vent in a safe space