In real life, my tongue is tied
In real life, my voice is
Meek
Barely there
Hardly a decibel
Only there for people
Who are willing
To hear it.

When I enter theater,
I am
Different.
As if a spell was cast
Like I am the female lead
Of my own play,
My own story,
My own life.

In theater, I am not
Helpless
Not anymore.

In theater, my voice is
Strong
Resonates
Like I know that
I Deserve to be
Heard.

In theater, I can be
Angry
It’s okay
I can yell
I can restrain myself
I can be
Furious
I can be
Quiet
I don’t have to be
Real

But yet it's in the theater
On the stage
Looking out at the people who
Over this year have become
My confidants,
My community,
My friends,
My Family,
that I am real
that I am completely
Myself.

In this space
That has become
My happy place
My source of joy
I can act
I can cry
I can become someone
Different
But I end up being me.

In theater,
I step through the doors
and lives fall apart
And are mended
in the span of an hour
When I’m upset
Feeling that I’m
Broken,
Shattered,
The pieces slipping through my fingers,
I can be emotional
But it’s someone else I'm speaking for

Theater is seemingly simple
Yet so effortlessly complex
Theater is fun,
Smiles,
Laughter,
A place where I can
Relax
Be me.

Theater is not a
Team sport,
And yet I’ve found
My team
We’re all equal players
Our game is life
In theater,
My friends,
My family,
We are a team—
With support,
Encouragement,
Prayers,
Surrounding each other
Building each other up.

While becoming someone else
I find myself
I find a group in which
I belong
I find happiness
I find a family who accepts me
People who see me
As who I pretend to be

The girl with the
Strong voice
Burning gaze
Emotions in her eyes
The girl who knows
What she’s doing
Who she wants to be
And yet, that girl is me
In a different universe.

Only a few people
See that universe
Only a few people see
A girl who can act
Without breaking,
A girl who can say
What she wants
Raise her voice
Convey a message
With a single glance.

This girl can stop
Keeping her words
Inside,
To herself

I can pretend all I want
But I am seen
I am seen so much more
Than I ever have been
Before.

When I speak
I am learning how to
Express myself.
Being quiet can be
Strong,
But using my voice
Has its own kind of strength.

In theater, I don’t
Walk on eggshells
Instead I
Walk across the stage

In theater, I don’t lock eyes
With the floor.
I gaze at my audience, maintain
Eye contact.

In theater, I don’t
Make myself scarce.
I let myself
Take up space
(what a beautiful feeling).

In theater, I don’t
Bite my tongue
I speak, because
In theater
Speech is key.

In theater,
I don’t forget
My legs.
It’s more like
My legs don’t matter
Anymore.
I move
differently
My left leg hasn’t magically
Changed
My words tumble out faster
Than my legs can move.

In theater, it’s like
I don’t care
My legs will keep up with me
Or not
I have a purpose
Whether or not my legs agree

My emotions propel me
These emotions,
I feel them all
The time.
I am more of an actress
Elsewhere
Be quiet, I tell myself
Hide your feelings.
It’s how I survive

Theater is not about surviving
Not anymore.
I can thrive
My voice matters,
here.

I can think what I like
Say what I feel
And though some of it is
Pretend,
Not all of it is.

I can’t always say
What needs to be said,
not yet,
Not to who really needs to
Hear it.

Each time,
I drop other people’s words
What they think of me
Their control over my life
And,
Slowly,
I take that control back.

In theater,
Every whisper,
Every murmur,
Every comment or shout or wisecrack
Anything anyone could say
It all matters.

As my voice slips out
I become who I wish
I could be.

Theater is not all
Pretending.
Theater is heart
and soul
in being someone else,
Even if that someone
is yourself.

As I realize
My voice matters
My voice is heard
I have power,
It was taken,
But my power doesn’t have to be
Gone.

This power is mine to earn
With my words
and my voice
and my trust

Theater gives me a reason,
Another person to be,
For just a while.

And over time,
That person
The girl who is confident when she moves,
The voice that holds power,
quiet or loud,
The girl who believes in herself
Believes she can speak her mind
Believes she has something worth saying,
Will emerge
Like a butterfly flying from the cocoon.

#themightypoets #performingartsonthemighty #CerebralPalsy #MentalHealth #Anxiety