Locked down in limbo,
Labouring along though.

The police hold my power in their hands,
Put my flashbacks on pause as I walk the sands..
But memory doesn't work like that, so they leave me utterly trapped.

My power was held in speaking the truth, now the interviews are on hold I feel like I might hit the roof..
Giving 'powerful people' longer to hide the proof!
I'm supposed to remain aloof.

Yet it's me, that must carry the memories,
Wake with that silent scream no one ever sees..
Its Me, that has to figure out how to 'just be' while ever flooded with memory..
Control the symptoms of C.P.T.S.D.

The police don't seem to care.
I'm Left in this limbo needing to share..
But where?
There is no place for pain like this, facts left on the back burner have me doing the twist.. are they actually trying to take the piss?
It feels like the investigation is being set up to miss ...
Then where am I left? Right in the mist.

No protection, no guard..
I take on the big boys, yet don't feel hard.
I know that this might lead to the death of me, speaking out about indoctrinated cruelty..
Yet I know if I stay silent I'll never be free!
So I keep a brave face on me.

The only thing I can do to win?
Stay Stable during!
So I focus on self care.
Listen to my body, rest or a walk?
I listen to my body talk!

I have one mission, break societal condition!
Speak the truth and take back my power!
Via talking of my darkest hour.
Embittered by systems of control, but still not sour!

#PTSD #CPTSD #CopingWithAnxiety #coping #CheckInWithMe #stillsmiling #MeToo #Fibromyaliga #toomuch #AbuseSurvivors #Survivor