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A Positive Update 5 Months Post Relapse
In February, I took an extremely high dosage of Xanax and I almost (unintentionally) killed myself. The scare and the blessing of waking up a day later was enough to make me never refill my prescription for Xanax again.
Since then, my life has done a complete 180 and I wanted to share it with you guys because I would've never imagined my life going in this direction.
I overcame my social anxiety with exposure therapy.
I participated in a 6km walk and finished in 9th place.
I applied to college and got accepted.
I found part-time employment that I genuinely enjoy and works with my schedule and mental health.
I finished my 1st "official" painting and found a home for it.
I bought tickets for my 1st ever heavy metal concert (I'm gonna see Sepultura).
I built a recording booth from recycled materials I collected from my job.
I'm getting better at budgeting and managing my money.
I'm comfortably and openly exploring my sexuality.
I've made moments of solitude and loneliness more comforting through artistic creation.
Though I did write in my journal my goals and ambitions, I don't feel I "worked hard" to do any of this. Being so close to death brought back a genuine love for life that I lost a while ago. So now, I find myself doing things with joy and that naturally lead to these outcomes.
I'm going to be 30 years old in October. I remember being 20, at the worse point in my Xanax addiction and overall mental health. I would've never imagined myself being alive at this age and yet I'm overjoyed to be here. I really really hope you are too.
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