So alone and so much pain.

Today I got the news that I’ll be having two separate oral surgeries soon.

I am utterly alone. I was able to get free of the abuse, and a judge ordered my ex to move out, but then Covid hit and my roommate also left.

So now I have been isolated for nearly 5 months. There is no one here but me.

I have no husband. I have no children. I have no parents. I have no siblings here. Even the one I do have that isn’t estranged by our prolonged childhood abuse, the only one I still have a relationship with, is about 3,000 miles away.

The recovery will be long and painful. It will be done in two stages. It will leave me without the ability to chew food. On top of all that, they probably won’t even give me any painkillers after they cut me up and yank things out of me. Now that we have a so-called opiate crisis, they don’t even give a person a short course of painkillers after surgery anymore. They just give you a prescription for ibuprofen. As if you need that. Gee, thanks, I don’t know where I would have found that.

I have never felt so alone. I am in so much emotional pain from the narcissistic abuse already. The physical pain and facing frightening and painful surgeries alone is just compounded by the fact that I have no one to turn to, and the road ahead is bleak.

#CPTSD #PTSD #Isolation #Surgery #OralSurgery #Pain
#NarcissisticAbuse #Estrangement #Grief #Loneliness #Sadness #Unsupported #despair