unsafe

At this moment, I can honestly say that I’ve become disillusioned with relationships and marriage purely because of my observations of my parents. I understand that there are some good examples of said relationships, but there has so much that has went down. I saw something today that explained a lot f things. All that I can say about it is that it’s degrading to women, and very hurtful to the significant other if you’re married. I understand that my mom has made her decisions on trying to make things work out, but, like today and other days, I’m completely confused. She removes pictures of them from the house, but I can hear them in the living room laughing at something on t.v. More so now I feel isolated in a place where I’m supposed to have peace from the outside world. My only sanctuaries that I have now is my bedroom, my job, and certain networks where I can talk to others. I just had to get that off of my chest, I really wish I had someone to talk about this kind of stuff, but I don’t. I have people in my corner, but there are certain things I jus can’t open up to them about these kinds of situations because not everyone understands how hard it is or how conflicting it feels to love someone, but have almost no respect for them because they didn’t protect me at times when I needed them to. It hurts being at a place where on the physical side, I’m an adult woman, but on the inside, I’m still a child. I dealt with certain adult situations before I became an adult. Now, I got to navigate how to live with it all while trying to figure out how I can feel safe because that feeling of safety was stolen from me. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #unsafe #Parents

Since I've been on The Mighty, I've had several requests for DMs. The conversations never went anywhere, and I didn't think anything about it. Then I was on here and read an article about emotionally predatory men (yes I'm sure there are women too) who come on here, scan for who seems #Vulnerable , then proceed to try to talk to these vulnerable people in an effort to #manipulate said people for their own nefarious reasons. I was floored. I thought about it, and I have NEVER had one single woman send me a DM. It's always been men. Then it occurred to me that when I said "Hey what's up?" Virtually all of them said "I'm just looking to chat with someone because I'm #lonley ." Yet when I tried to talk about mental or physical health or anything appropriate for The Mighty, they had nothing to say. When I looked at these men's profiles, virtually all of them had made zero comments, no real bio, were not in any groups, but we're following like 30 Mighty members, who allllll happen to be female.
I feel really angry with myself for not catching this sooner, but I'm working through that anger. So now, when I get random DMs from some guy, I always say "Hi, what were you needing to talk about?" Not ONE of them has even replied. At all.
Just remember to be careful. Emotional predators are real, and they are everywhere, including The Mighty.
#EmotionalPredator #unsafe #manipulation #EmotionalHealth

Before I explain myself, I want to thank all those who have been supportive in the comments and the rest of the Mighty Community during this interesting time in my life. Many of your thoughts and experiences have helped me along the way and I appreciate all of you ❤️. Lately, things that I’ve felt and experienced have been projecting in my dreams and they feel so real that it’s unsettling. Last night, I had a dream about my upbringing and all the things I had experienced. The big difference was that it was all heightened, I felt even more abandoned, unheard, and miserable. Even the abuses have felt too real. I did go outside earlier and felt better, but right now I feel unsafe. There is an emptiness that I feel inside of me that I haven’t felt in a while. For me, it’s holding hands with loneliness. Normally I would cry out of this kind of loneliness, but at this point, I’m not able to. I don’t normally open up about feeling lonely because one, I don’t want to bother people with my struggle, and two, I don’t always have understanding people in my corner who I can talk to about it. It can be a lot to carry and I do wish I was as strong as some people see me as. I don’t wish this on anyone, not even my worst enemies... ever. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Emptiness #dreams #unsafe #feelinglonely #Loneliness #narcissisticabusesurvivor

#SocialAnxiety hyper-vigilance, #Fear , #panic attack, #unsafe #Agoraphobia

#CheckInWithMe #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #NarcissisticAbuse #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #ChronicIllness #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #ADHD #TraumaticBrainInjury #BrainInjury #lost #PeopleScareMe #unsafe

I need a #Support system because things get really bad for me and I tend to feel #unsafe so I reached out to 3 people. One responded almost immediately willing to help. The other wants more info. The other hasn’t said yea or nay. My thing is, you know I dealing with depression why can’t you just give a yes or no? Even if they don’t #understand #Depression I’ve offered to get info for them. The delay concerns me.

I feel alone in this. I wish I could afford my own personal therapist that works with just me and no one else. I need the help and support. It’s 4:43am and I’ve been up for an hour. It’s too early to be dealing with these feelings!

I was walking to my vehicle in the company parking lot. It's supposed to be safe, right? Even with my hyper-vigilance I didn't see them. I froze just like every time. I feel like it's all my fault. #CheckInWithMe #afraid #unsafe