visual

I have mood issues, mood swings and mood crashes along with some psychotic thinking at times. The night before last when I was trying to sleep and was in the twilight zone between wake and sleep I started having some irrational thoughts that were just nonsensical and I wrote it off as being tired. The other night I started having visual hallucinations while in twilight and it freaked me out. My Psych NP wants me to start on Latuda and I would like to know if anyone has any good or bad experience with this medication. I’m feeling pretty lonely and depressed and burned out.

There was a neat picture I took in the mirror when I visited my brother. That's what started it.

Now I don't know whether to replace the thought and use distraction or to address it rather than avoid. I was looking for that photo on my phone. I scrolled a lot. I saw the images of life from not that long ago, but so much has happened since that time.

Old emotions come right back up to the front center part of my attention. I never really folded things up neatly to place them away. His face brings about a strange combination of wistful nostalgic happiness and the burning anger of the dumpster fire that relationship became. Funny I can still see through the flames and the soot in the air, and it's clear as day.

I don't want to look anymore. Is there a way to put out the fire now?

#breakup #sad #avoidancecoping #visual #Memories #Depression #Anxiety

#MentalHealth