My wonderful child J. has had GAD and constant panic attacks for two months. We have seen an awful neurologist and a helpful psychiatrist; he and I are in therapy. Tomorrow we visit Cortica to rule out being in the spectrum (or rule in). I love my job; I love my children, J and N. My husband tried his best to help, but I had to push him. I feel the emotional, medical, and physical burden is on me. Last night, J had an adverse side effect on a new Benzo. He hallucinated for 5-6 hours. As a consequence, my husband ruled out benzos. We are waiting for the SSRI to kick in, but it might take three more weeks. Today the whole family worked from home, no school. We are exhausted. He asks me: why me? What did I do to deserve this? I do not want children because I do not want to leave this legacy. He is nine years old. I suffer from depression and anxiety. They are under control with meds, but I a making a U-turn. I feel alone and do not know where to go from here. Thank you for reading. #GAD #Autism #SensoryIssues #exhausted #y #SSRI #Medi #Benzos #mother #NeedSupport #Children #PanicAttacks #hard #choices #needsleep