Impostorsyndrome

Today was my last day with this job. Indeed, I work in a freelance working schedule, however, I used to take that as a job, I was there always the day and time she needed me.

I know I need improvement as does everyone in this world. I take constructive feedback well, it helps me to grow, but everyone deserves respect.

I recorded a video of a fragment of this last meeting. Thanks for your words, this episode happened without affecting my emotions too much. I uploaded the video

youtu.be/MkdfYLHXLmo

She paid in advance for some hours, she wants reimbursement. of course, I will give her back the money, but I have made an experiment. It is curious how she never had time to reply to a question, she always wanted me to "figure it out myself", but then, I used to do what I thought it was best, and tried to be proactive. But later, she used to tell me that she didn't ask me to do it and that I should ask more questions.

So, she never had time for a few minutes to reply to some questions/blockers that would help me to do my work. But now, she has been trying to connect with me all afternoon because she wants her money back. So, seems like, in the end, she hasn't been as busy as she always says she is...

One of the main complaints was that my communication was an issue, my English is good enough to communicate, but still is not perfect, I know I need to improve, but I am a remote worker living in the 3rd world charging her 10 USD per hour. She won't find that rate there in her country with an English native speaker.

Thanks again :)

#Impostorsyndrome #Anxiety #Burnout #worklifebalance #Depression #Respect

I've fallen into a months long rut and am having a really hard time figuring out what to do next. I changed careers and it took me a year to find a job. In the middle of that I separated from my fiancé of five years after at least a year or two of being unhappy. I moved in with a couple of roommates and it's been a terrible experience. I can't be in peace in my own home. Now the lease is up for renewal and I need to decide whether to stay, move home, or find another apartment. I don't feel that I have the energy to search or move right now even though I'm in a tough situation. I barely have any friends around as I left this area for a few years and practically came back during covid. My best friend is literally still my ex and given that I'm feeling so lonely, I am really missing his support and even thinking about getting back together. I know we broke up for valid reasons (which I acknowledged first) but life feels really hard right now. After back to back intense conversations with my roommates about our living situation and a recent convo with my ex about the problems we had about 2 days ago, I'm having such intense anxiety. I'm crying at least once an hour and don't know how to relieve it. What's worse is that my new job is picking up and I'm finding it incredibly difficult to focus and get anything done. I know I'm lost in a sea of negative thoughts and hopelessness but when I think about it, I also don't have anything to look forward to, I don't have uplifting people to lean on. My therapist doesn't seem to be a big help right now. I just don't know. I think I'll move home for a little while, but it's also not the best choice because where my fam lives is very isolated and I don't even have a car. My relationship with my mom has improved but it's been pretty rough in the past. I really just want to get away..go on a trip or something. If it weren't for the fact that I finally have a job with a decent salary, I would say I feel like I've hit rock bottom. How do I get out of this? Positive thoughts are hard to have or believe in right now.

I don’t know why it happens to me that I feel that I am not me and that I’m pretending to be “me” or I’m taking instructions from a “me” to be more “me” than I am. This sounds crazy but I want to be “me” without feeling I’m
Not good enough to be me #notgood #Impostorsyndrome #Memyselfandi

I’m beyond ecstatic to find this group. Perhaps, I’ll get the help I need. I also think I might be bi-polar, but I diagnosed. I’ve been through (almost) EVERY bad thing imaginable to the human race and I definitely have impostor syndrome due to violent abuse by my “family” who was scapegoating me. #Depression #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #Impostorsyndrome

I spent virtually all night writing and fine tuning a new post to my blog, titled "Having a Mood Disorder Means Living in a Constant State of Identity Crisis." It's available on my blog currently (girlprecarious.com). It's incredibly personal, and I wrote it from a very vulnerable place. I shared the blog post to a mental health subreddit and received my first flippantly negative comment.
Basically, they stated that my work was disorganized and came off as rambling. I've learned (especially in recent) to meet harshly worded criticism with kindness, but considering how hard I worked on this post, I was incredibly embarrassed and considered just deleting the post all together.

It really triggered my impostor syndrome. I have dedicated a lot of time recently to my pursuit in writing and blogging for advocacy.

I'm trying to remind myself that compared to this first and only negative comment I've received thus far on this journey, I have 5 - 10 positive comments of encouragement. I've had people I barely know on a personal level reach out to me and tell me how much of an impact my work has had on them so far.

I've mostly calmed down by now, and made the decision to NOT let one bad vibe this morning derail my mission to provide honest advocacy through my writing. It's difficult to toughen my skin and handle hecklers with grace when I suffer from a

Ugh. I just needed to vent a little, and this seemed like the right place to do so without a whole lot of judgement. I hope everyone is having a better morning than I have so far.
#MoodDisorders #Impostorsyndrome   #Blogging

I came across this today on the dreaded FB. Never heard of it. Is it a real thing? #Anxiety #SelfDoubt