Not

Everyone will tell you
it’s ok to be Not ok.
That’s true.
I just wish someone
would have told me
just how bad
Not OK can feel. #ok #Not ok

I try so hard to get out from under the many challenges of depression and other issues.
I'm on disability and am started to work part time. I'm in a private type of subsidized housing. My son who has multiple disabilities and now is blind is trying to become independent and move out. He is really struggling.
I don't know why, but my rent is being raised $50 per month. I'm barely making it financially now. I was badly scammed and had fraud and identity theft be ause I was so stressed out I didn't realize until too late that the people calling and pressuring me were a scam.
I have severe medical issues that require surgeries and I won't get paid for the time because I'm new and part time.
I have lost all my friends due to my depression and other illnesses. I have really failed in life. I'm a single mom and have tried hard but failed my son in many ways. I'm afraid we are going to end up homeless.
I hate the system. I got off it before and I wish I had never gotten back on but I ended up back in the hospital. I am angry at mental illness. I am angry people judge me so harshly. I'm angry at the trap the disability system puts me in.it is so hard to not be angry at myself because I haven't gotten better and succeeded.
I've been doing this for decades and I am old now, and feel worse in my depression, etc. than I ever felt. I honestly can't think clearly enough about how this is going to work out. I will try to talk to the property manager. The rent will probably go up more because I haven't reported I'm working. I feel like there is no way out and no way I'm going to make it, but that is my depression talking.
I'm sorry to be a downer. That is why I have no friends. No one wants to be around a depressed person. I'm supposed to be positive. #Depression #alone #struggling #Finances #single mom #Not making it

My knee popped out to the side over a month ago. Has not healed much at all, despite my taking good care of it. Finally went for x-ray: ugh not even 40 yet and moderate arthritis. Thanks hEDS-you suck! Still fighting for physical therapy too.

Now, off to get a peg leg and parrot to complete the ensemble! Don’t worry, I’m a whiz at sea shanties already!

Especially when it sucks, try & find the humor, aye Mighty Mateys! # ehlers-danlos#Not walking #pirate life coming soon…#scootertheplank

I am sitting in my chair at the house with my loving loyal dogs with tears streaming down my face. I don’t think I even can explain all the emotions I am feelingrifht now. I am just home from another doctor appointment who was very pleased with themselves when they told me (one of so many) how healthy I am and how fortunate I am because all of their tests and questions lead to finding nothing. I am happy yet also furious. No one wants to help me figure out what’s going on with me. Just tell me to exercise more and things would be oh so much better. I have had the same basic symptoms come and go for 10+ years with the last 2 years getting so bad I have had to give up teaching and wasn’t even able to do it part time or anything else I trieed. Physically and mentally, I guess I just feel broken. The symptoms get worse and new ones add on. And I am so emotionally exhausted from the pain and the fact that I can’t do the things I want to that I am constantly angry at the people around me and feel worthless. I am seeing a therapist but haven’t found one who’s been able to help me cope with this part of my depression. My family loves me and provides the only support they k ow how. But I can’t take another well that’s wonderful they didn’t find anything wrong. I am screaming silently with frustration and pain and the agony of people’s expectations of me because everything’s “ok” me you look great this is the first time I posted and This is probably rambling but I just needed to get some of this out of me. Thanks for listening to my rant.
#FibroFog
#Depression
#HemiplegicMigraine
#Not understood
#angry
#PatientAndDoctorExperiences
#invisibledisabilities
#ADHD
#alonebutnotalone

#I just wanted to thank everyone on this site.
I know it’s 4;00 am so excuse my writing #Not really awake yet, I just wanted to let you know how greatful I am blessed you were here for me. #I am fighting , fibromyalgia ,Depression ,anxiety, and a host of other things. #and I could come to this site and just have someone and some place that I could go and not be judged. #to write my thoughts and feelings. I am very grateful # I love 💕 you all Thank so much , because I do not have any one that I can share these things with. #I do have christ Jesus and his father and my father Jehovah I am so grateful that I was lead here because I was in a very dark place. #and I was thinking some bad thoughts. #So Thank you all 🙏🦩✌️💕And know I am not leaving, I am so glad you are here to help everyone.🦩✌️💕. #

So yes I'm aware that this a public group, but I've noticed that there are people that simply are looking to meet someone, that's great if they stay in that section. I personally feel that alot of the groups that talk about very personal things should not be public, these are private thoughts, comments by one's that are affected, or have loved ones that have these illness, or are survivors of some form of abuse. I personally have decided that if you do not have a bio up about why you want to be apart of certain groups and yet want to privately message me up ignore it because as stated in not here to meet men. I've been happily married for 32 years, I do not mean to offend anyone, im only going off of my own experience.

People here are #Pathetic or am I being ridiculously not # empathetic to #whining today? Is it only me? Going ahead, hate.

Right #Now I am feeling angery my old man is sick and know it’s not coved#people are so fake , and hurtful it’s not everybody it’s just the men that I find in my life that are hurtful and trys to break my spirit #and they are doing a wonderful job. #Trying to take care of my old man his 56 I know that’s not old . # And I am basically hit hard and I am not hit Physical it’s all mentally he doesn’t think that there is something wrong.So I will leave him to his self he doesn’t need me or my help. #and the other man I think I wrote about him ! #try to talk to him ,he is was very special to me . I told him a lot about me.Now weather he read any I don’t know.He is very good at hurting me I don’t know if he does it to anyone else #.It doesn’t matter my hole life I have been some how, Hurt from my dad ,
To my 1st husband, Now my second husband doesn’t want my help when he’s sick and , #I am just a maid.With no benefits.From the first I didn’t see it, but things change , #he told his sister that he’s two sisters and A friend he said was adopted .Where the most important to him.Not me or his daughter or his son.Only his sisters are important to him. #Not his kids .He said they where 🩸 blood his sisters #and Starlord ????Just know he has hurt me, I am wondering if all men are asses. I don’t care anymore about anything , except for my kids .They are gifts from God💕I just wanted to talk to someone.And I picked Starlord I guess he could have fun with me. #I feel like my life is over.I don’t see a future for me. #