validation

Don’t know many of you dealing with grief and anxiety feel similarly - you muster up energy, ability and motivation to socialise, seem normal, functional…but at the end of it, you are relieved. It feels enervating and drudging and there’s very rarely any meaning or comfort these interactions provide. So to the extent possible you avoid meeting people, remain reclusive for there’s more certainty there and less anxiety, indeed a comfort solitude provides. Then solitude and accompanying loneliness too intensifies your grief. You make efforts to reach out and fraternize. You try to decentre yourself and merely be in the moment & flow. Two things pan out - even those who know your grief don’t validate and worse sermonise to pull up, divert, engage etc. Second you rarely meet anyone interesting or worthy enough to make meaning or reassuring where given the hope, energy and efforts you rustle up for such encounters, disappointment hits big. Ultimately being in one’s shell seems to be the safest place to be. 😔

Healer Pains

Full of Anger and rage
Feeling like I’m a animal locked in a cage
My nature is so misunderstood
Perhaps it’s time to move on from the hood
But I Love my independent city
Even though the committee ain’t take no pity

Isolated and assets frozen
Although they don’t yet know I’m part of God’s chosen
Treated like a hardcore criminal
My poem are definitely subliminal
If you know me, you’ll get it
Ain’t the usual one to quit

I walked away for self protection
So, wouldn’t be forced into flexion
Straight forward as it can be
Though I did flee, At least I’m free
Self love is a priority
Even if I ain’t in the majority

That don’t stop us from doing as we please
Perhaps, why I’m a narcissist that is to be put in a freeze
From trauma and vulnerabilities we came up,
Banged up, beat up - yet we still worked hard and built up
So, why the hate?
And all the jealousy mate?
Took you for free spins and fed you during your worst

You were injured and I was the one to bring you back to health and nursed
And now I’m cursed?
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you
One day, you gotta regret it my boo
True love, acceptance and understanding- heck, gave even my soul
Now, all this hurt masking as anger and making feel like a burning coal

Quite the toll, though I thought your love was free
Then, why the hefty fee?
Anger and rage on the front
Amidst a manhunt
Hurt and grief under the front
Perhaps, nows the time to get blunt

Yes, I am fucked up
And the only one who saved me is my pup
You were right, I was stupid
The only mistake I made was chasing Cupid
Don’t know my story yet think they know all
Destroying me so I forget to walk and can barely even crawl

Malicious prosecution and defamation
Think it’s a game of persuasion
It’s nothing more than a crime
To prevent me from the social and corporate climb
You think I forgot, that’s cute
I never forget a learned friend dispute

You know I’m better than you
And that’s a strong fact that’s more than just true
Don’t let simple nature and humble attitude fool you into arrogance
You caused me to lose my soul and become spiritless
The student is now the master
Now that deserves a round of applause and laughter

Karma is a mogul’s game
And though I don’t care for the fame, it ain’t gonna stop me from bringing the claim
Justice is overdue, stayed quiet for too long
Have come closer to being proven wrong
My only regret, had I spoken earlier
I would be worthier

Money is important but my people are my assets
They are the ones to get my out of bad debts
Got my back because we init for ride or die
They ain’t no supply, they real niggas on which we can rely
Now that’s a fact you cannot deny
My team here for the full and permanent long haul

And although right now, I’m back at the stage of crawl
I got the mindset and approach to stay resilient
Cuz I found out way too late that I’m more than just brilliant
Genius and gifted talent, that’s God’s chosen
So, let me give you a glimpse of my life in slow-motion
Watch out cuz this girl’s a tornado, not to be tamed

She won’t remain for much longer chained
It’s time to break free
And I think that’s something y’all agree #heartbreak #Love #Pain #growth #soulpain #selfhelp #SelfHealing #writings #Journaling #feelings #Emotions #validation #hurt #Grief #Loss #Rejection #abandonment #social isolation #punishment #Karma #sins #good #bad

What all does it take to see your grief validated? Indeed should i even bother to get it validated by the very people, from the very system who have default caused my trauma though not very exclusively or consciously? Being male, upper caste (I'm in India) upper middle class, fair... it appears, makes me me illegitimate to have grief... At least by my progressive kith & kin and friends...i have my own house, food to eat, so in such a sense i can't complain, grieve, be anxious. My grief then is pathetic attempt to sound lugubrious . Then there are didactic sermons... Be positive, you are good, you try (I'm not trying enough), it's all your mind, it's just you...etc

Nobody wants to engage with my loss and despair but avoid it all... Being very business like, take challenges suggesting types. That I'm hurt, deeply incapacitated, that circumstances have played havoc with me... nobody acknowledges so but yet want to be 'helpful' and being 'positive'. Emoting is not cool right? To perform empathy, acknowledging ones worth (that's all for social media and in aid of those who already have surfiet of it) is not cool eh? Validating ones feeling is not politically correct and not keeping with the times, however warped or instrumental 😕

If matters are not bad enough, even when I attempt to reach out and enjoin myself into the social world for what it is worth, there's no respect, or hand holding from the very folks who know me (or so i think) well and in the know of my grief, loss and anguish. So is it even worth the attempt? And the surge of the hopelessness, loss and absence of my ex that comes surging as a tsunami...😞 and the fear and loathing of everything around...😢

#Grief #validation #Loss

Even when i am in a bad space I was come on this platform to view others' posts. Even if i am unable to give advice, i leave a heart just to let someone know that someone listens to what they have to say. Cause i know how it feels to want to be heard and acknowledged. For my feelings to be validated. So not all scrolling is not healthy. #validation #ImListening

I'm so sick of the invalidation I receive almost on a daily basis. Just because my disability isn't one of the "acceptable" disabilities. Why do I always have to prove myself? Why am I always being questioned? I want to be able to tell people about what I have and get the services I need without jumping through the hoops I genuinely can't jump through. I don't want to be dismissed anymore. I want to be seen and heard. Just like I deserve
#MentalHealth #Disability #tired #CP #Depression #Anxiety #validation #seenandheard

In therapy today, I started working on healing from invalidation. She told me to work on validating myself but that's a bit difficult. I do not think it's possible to change a mindset over night. Does anyone have any tips on how to change how you see and speak to yourself? #validation #Selfcare #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #AbuseSurvivors #Selflove

That’s how I feel as my therapist explains how there’s still a version of five year old me inside myself that’s hurt and scared by my fathers angry verbal outbursts. “But I was never hit” “he said worse to my older brothers” “it happened a long time ago it’s not important” all these thoughts and more swirl in my head as she talks. I was the baby girl, the favorite. My older brothers and even my father consistently reminding me how much easier my childhood was compared to theirs. So what right do I have to struggle? Nothing was ever that bad.
My therapist wants me to try taking the mountian of a baby step to accept that my experiences are valid and they were hurtful. But, I can’t? I panick when I think about it and the internal script of invalidating comments just gets louder and louder.

#Depression #Anxiety #ADHD #validation #invalidation #Therapy #DBT #parentalverbalabuse

#Fibromyalgia I don't complain of pain often, otherwise I would be complaining all the time. When I do complain of pain, it's really bad. I've noticed when I mention that something hurts, whoever I am talking to usually responds with telling me about their aches and pains. I know it's not a competition, but my constant, all over pain is not the same as their headache or whatever. Sometimes I just want the person to say "I am sorry you're in pain; is there anything I can do to help?" It would be especially nice to hear this from my loved ones. When they don't acknowledge my experience, I feel like they don't believe me, that they're just brushing me off. I don't feel validated. I need the people I love to make space for my truth.