Right now the weather in the Detroit area is nice. Not terribly hot or cloudy. It's comfortable.
But southern Illinois, where my girlfriend lives, is getting hammered and there's a tornado warning in effect right now. I think there might be hail too. And here I am like a squirrel on speed trying to be the supportive boyfriend and all I can do is say oh gosh oh geez oh fuck please stay safe I love you I'm sure you'll be ok.
But I also am fighting with the voices in my head. "We should call mom. We already called her. Maybe I should meditate for a bit. I need to stay awake and meditation always leads to a nap. I want chocolate. Hey doesn't mack turn 18 in 6 months. Let's think about that. I want to taste things but not eat them. Jess is way out of my league but she loves me anyways" And it just keeps going on and on.
I'm really craving shawarma and pickled turnips. But I also just want to eat a thousand cookies.
I don't have any chores for today. Wednesday is dishes and I haven't used any since last week when I washed them.
My local friends are so busy being underemployed and not having enough money for necessary things. So I'm looking forward to grocery shopping on Tuesday. I'm gonna get cookies. Not quite a thousand.
#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #ChronicIllness #Arthritis #Relationships