Just lost my therapist. Out of nowhere. She’s gone. Now I have a new one. Going to be difficult to adjust. This is why I hate opening up to therapists. They don’t last long and I end up feeling hurt and a little betrayed. #BPD pic.twitter.com/i6aFovoZNN
— Ann Marie (@Anne_Marie_Art) August 29, 2022
So my therapist is gone. No goodbyes, no explanations.
So I checked. Turns out, she’s not gone. It was the case manager who was changed. I got angry and thrown around in emotion mind for a misunderstanding.
I’m disappointed. I know better. I have the skills, I just did not use them. I CHOSE not to use them.
My boyfriend thinks DBT skills are akin to lying down and being a “doormat”. I don’t think so. They make my life better. And I’d rather be effective than angry at the world.
It’s not worth it.
I need to stop being so reactive to small things. Actually, I need to stop being so “reactive” in general. My old therapist was right…I DO go from 0 to 100 in situations that don’t call for it.
I spend so much time in “emotion mind” that I forget to live in the REAL world.
I’m older now. Years older. And I hate it. So many years wasted feeling sorry for myself and my condition of life. I want more; so much more.
I wanna write a book full of my own digital illustrations, I want to do a podcast (I have a good microphone and a decent laptop) about my struggles, I want to compose a song, take pictures of the night sky, and share my singing voice, get better at playing my instruments again. The list goes on and on.
I feel a podcast would be a good way to educate and get things off my chest. Maybe make a spoken word film? Just videos where I read my poems?
So many plans. So little time. #borderlinepersonality #BPD #MentalHealth #Inspiration #Life #frustration #ChronicIllness