advice

When you struggle to accept it as a part of you and want to push it away, be someone who isn’t anxiety prone or depressive prone but also how to accept it or be self compassionate even when it’s hard? #Anxiety #Shame #Barriers #struggles #Advice #TheMighty #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Support

Hi all,

It's been quite a while. I'm back because my girlfriend is dealing with some pretty major low self esteem and I feel powerless to help her having never dealt with it myself to a significant degree except within the context of a bout of severe depression when I was 18. We have a lot of things in common with our brains: OCD, anxiety, probably autism, and generally being weird smart nerds. But my environment growing up was a lot more supportive than hers. I grew up in a progressive west coast city with a queer friendly community and friends and family who were also weird and felt that it was a good thing to think for ourselves and not be "normal." She grew up in a Texas suburb in a conservative Catholic community that socially punished any kind of nonconformity or inability to instantly understand and follow unspoken social rules and has only had maybe two real friends, not including me, since being a preteen. She has such a low opinion of her ability to make friends and feels like everyone thinks she's weird in a bad way. She assumes that all social interactions are going to go terribly which leads her to not interact with anyone thus worsening the anxiety. I understand why she feels like this given her past experiences, but I just feel like she can't be so much different from me that a modest but fulfilling social life such as mine is impossible for her. She's seeing a therapist mostly for the OCD but also the self esteem, but I just don't know how to help. I do everything I can to tell her how wonderful she is, naming specific things I love about her and reasons that she is great outside of any personal relationships. But at the end of the day I don't have much personal experience with feeling that way and so I have no tips to give her like I can with OCD, the treatment of which I am now somewhat of a veteran. Any suggestions from those who have dealt with such things for what might help? And advice to give someone struggling like this? Especially if you've successfully been able to manage these feelings and gain self confidence and self love/appreciation. I suppose I should also add that we are currently long-distance and she visits me every 1-2 months (she has a more flexible schedule and makes a lot more money, and I have the more independent living situation whereas she still lives with her somewhat homophobic parents). So as much as I'd like to hug her every day and whisper a litany of her wonderful qualities in her ear, I sadly cannot.

#Selfesteem #lowselfesteem #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Autism #Relationships #Advice #Support

I'm pretty new to this site. I'm a mid-20s guy grappling with how long I'm going to have to deal with MH issues. I've been having MH problems for more than half my life. I've tried a lot of med combos, most don't work, but one works really good and I've been on and off that for the past two years. A close relative said that she's tried coming off meds over and over again but that depression always comes back whenever she does. I've noticed the same thing with me. Once I come off this combo, I fall back into the same hole of overdrinking, suicidal thoughts, hurting people I love in those moments, feeling like crap 24/7, no motivation, angry all the time, etc. I don't want that anymore. I think I might need meds forever but I don't know and that thought still makes me uneasy.

I like who I am when I'm on this med combo. I don't overdrink. I don't overreact. I don't get road rage anymore. I don't have the 24/7 negative thoughts. I can actually laugh and I'm generally upbeat and positive. It's night and day. I've gained some weight but in light of my most recent crisis point, I think being overweight is better than dead and hurting the people in my life. Plus now that my mind is right, I can do stuff to counteract that weight side effect, right?

Any tips on how to accept that this is probably going to be a longer-term thing I gotta take meds for? Any tips on how to manage weight while on the meds? I got off this combo last time because of weight but if there's a way to manage that side effect then I want to try that. #Depression #Advice #MentalHealth

Guys, I'm really struggling at the moment. Every single day of my life, I'm in pain. I've accepted it as a fact of my life. But a few weeks ago I randomly injured a muscle in my lower back that has been locked/cramped up ever since, and is pretty much crushing my sciatic nerve. I'm getting such painful burning-aching sensations CONSTANTLY. There is no reprieve.

I can't get comfy when I'm sitting, and I'm barely sleeping at night. My doctor has examined me and she's pretty sure it's my sciatic nerve that's been pinched and that I need the appointment for physio. But the earliest they could fit me in was 23rd October - 10 days away! My doctor has prescribed a course of diazepam (valium) to help ease the muscle and try and abate the muscle spasming around the nerve. Which works to an extend but I really can't do much. I can't lift anything heavy, etc.

I am truly miserable right now. And I have been for the last two weeks since the injury. It just doesn't stop... My nephew came over on Wednesday and I couldn't play with him the usual way I do - chasing him about, lifting him up and bouncing him. And he just kept coming and cuddling my leg, raised his arms at me and said; "Up!" It broke my heart when I said no. He walked off with his head hung down and his bottom lip poking out.

Since the injury, I've eaten a LOT of junk food. I just cannot stop, and I don't really care all that much. I know I'm comfort eating (I used to do this a lot in the past), and I know it's not good for me. I'm just finding it really hard to give a crap about it.

What should I do? I'm so close to tears... I need a nice long, tight hug/cuddle. It's so hard to keep going.

#POTS #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #FattyLiverDisease #NAFLD #Diabetes #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #InterstitialCystitis #ChronicPain #sciatica #BackPain #exhausted #mentallyexhausted #feelingdefeated #chronicillnesswarrior #Advice

All of my life I have had vivid dreams, dreams that have stayed with me. Of places and people I have visited often through the years. I revisit a lot of the same places, I also travel a lot in them. Sometimes it's obvious that I am in another timeline, sometimes I don't know when or where I am. Many of the dreams I remember are scary or traumatic. Is this normal? Here are two I have written down, including one from last night:

9/24/23
I was in a small dilapidated house, it was as if it was up on stilts. It was cold outside and the weird, and disturbed uncle of the family was cooking on a stove. It was one of those large stoves with a large oven. I was in the kitchen which was right next to the oven. I was holding the poor dog by the collar so the family that lived there wouldn't leave without him. The smell in the house began to change, it was almost sickly, and I can't explain it. I watched the two daughters of the family pass by the stove and their expressions changed to one of horror. I never left that way, I knew what he was cooking and escaped with the dog out of the back door in the kitchen. The girls recalled that they saw a large item in the oven and all that poked out from the door was the pinky of a young man. The smell was overwhelming, even now as I write this it still makes me sick. And I am not certain, but what I thought was snow, may have been something else. It was cold but the air smelled of char or burning.

8/9/21
They didn't believe me when I said she was dead, that I knew where her body was, beneath the tiles under the chalkboard. He kept her body in some sort of electronic box where terrible things happened. I didn't know her well, she was an acquaintance but no one deserves what happened to her. He was well respected, quiet, middle-aged with gray curly hair. A professor at the college and I think he killed her. No one believed me, but you'd be amazed how fast people move when told there was a bomb. I was bluffing of course but said that if they didn't dig up the floor along that wall I would blow up the school in "5 minutes." They raced to the classroom, pried up the tiles, pushed past some dirt and rats. The box sat perfectly beneath the plaster. They were shocked as they opened it up to find her remains. The smell was egregious and tore through the air. I almost threw up. But she was found and the professor, arrested.
#MentalHealth #Depression #PTSD #Dreaming #Advice #Anxiety

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I'm LGBTQ+. I'm transmasc non-binary. I'm otherkin (not human). I'm Black. I have autism (please don't call my autism a disorder/disability/syndrome) and anxiety, and someone with trauma. I cry very easily. I am overweight. I am a part of a plural/collective. I am non-romantically polyamorous. And every damn day, I feel like this world called society is just here to for the sole purpose to shit on others, betray others, or just to secretly judge others, including me.

Every day, it is getting much harder and harder to believe that there is a single damn individual out there (other than my current therapist, all of my partners, my dad, and a few friends) who has common sense, is open-hearted, is open-minded, and doesn't like to discriminate or invalidate others for being different or for experiencing different things, or labeling themselves differently. Sometimes, the anxiety gets to the point where it seems like going out is stupid for me. What's the point?

It's like almost every damn community I've been a part of (and left) and witnessed just LOVES to INVALIDATE OTHERS SOMEHOW?! It's so annoying and stupid and it's just like... why can't you just fucking accept someone for who they are??? All of this just makes me so fucking angry and just...!!

...Sigh. Now that that's off my chest... may I ask for advice on how to go about this? I already currently seeing a therapist, luckily. Right now, it is very very hard for me to get off this mindset because I believe it's true, sadly.. this society and all of other individuals' opinions is tearing me apart..

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MentalHealth #helpme #Vent #venting #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #anger #help #Society #Advice #triggerwarning #Neurodiversity #LGBTQIA #plural #otherkin

I’m currently a first time aunt (although my sister is 21 weeks pregnant right now) to an absolutely gorgeous and clever little boy named Oskar. He’s 22months old, and I absolutely love playing with him. I chase him, I crawl towards him on my hands and knees. I play rough with him (he loves this), and I tickle him until he’s belly laughing.

He is truly the light of my life - since he was born I’ve refused to self harm and I’ve really started taking better care of myself. But sometimes when we’re playing, I start to get pain or get really exhausted and I have to tell him no and sit down for a bit. But then he comes over, grabs my hands and tries to pull me up and make me follow him.

It really breaks my heart because I know he doesn’t really understand and he thinks he’s done something wrong. How do YOU communicate that you need a break? Is there a way to do it so he understands? He can get quite upset. Aside from his dad, I’m the only person that really plays with him and makes him laugh.

Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!

#chronicillnesswarrior #ChronicPain #POTS #EDS #NAFLD #BPD #LiverDisease #Jointpain #Diabetes #InterstitialCystitis #Migraines #Depression #Fatigue #Children #Advice

So, when I was 7 years old I had a pretty horrific dentist experience. Basically, I had to have a tooth removed. But the dentist said that because it was a baby tooth, I wouldn’t need any numbing injections. He was dead-fricking-wrong. I remember some nurses holding me down, my mum shouting, and what I can only describe as a pair of pliers. I remember screaming, and there being a lot of blood.

So for years I’ve been terrified of them. I couldn’t even walk on the same street as a dentist’s office without having a panic attack. In the last couple of years I’ve had to have my GP give me diazepam (Valium) just so I can sit in the damn chair. I’ve slowly built trust with my dentist, and I don’t need a huge dose to get me in the chair anymore.

Anyway, late last year I finally got to a point where I no longer needed to have any more work done. I’ve had four teeth removed (thankfully back ones), and several fillings. At least 9 of them. Since I started going regularly a couple of years ago, I’ve learned how to brush and floss properly. And according to the dentist at my last appointment last year, since brushing and flossing properly, I’ve managed to reverse the remaining decay I had left. Or, the start of the decay that was there.

But here’s the thing… The last 3-4 months have been so so stressful. I really stopped taking care of myself. I stopped washing regularly, I stopped eating properly and consumed loads of sugar (I’m type 2 diabetic), I stopped brushing and flossing my teeth, I barely took my medication… I was spiralling into an abyss. I felt angry and hopeless literally 24/7…

Then 6 weeks ago I spoke to my GP who then increased one of my antidepressants. Finally, a few weeks ago I started to feel a bit more like myself and I started taking care of myself better.

I’m overdue for a dental checkup and I’m just so scared. I’m worried they’ll be mad, and lecture me or judge me. And I’m also worried that I’m going to have to have more teeth removed… Any time I think about making the appointment I panic all over again and get really overwhelmed… What should I do? How do I explain myself in a way they’ll understand?

Any and all advice is greatly appreciated and welcomed.

#AutonomicDysfunction #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #POTS #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #EDS #jointhypermobility #NAFLD #LiverDisease #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Diabetes #Migraines #InterstitialCystitis #IBS #GERD #AcidReflux #Dentist #mouthproblems #Advice #Depression #Anxiety #panic

I had a crush on this guy who lives next door at my apartment. When I moved in he said to let him know if I wanted to hang out because he likes to play piano and I play flute. I’m new to the area and I was wanting more friends so I reached out to him. We started texting, but his texts started to make me feel uncomfortable. He just seems to want something too fast. It’s not just that he seems to want something more from me, the manner of his texts are making me feel uncomfortable. I think he knows I had a crush on him and I don’t want him taking advantage of that.

I don’t have a crush on him anymore as a result, but I’m so anxious when I see him that I’m afraid that might be misconstrued as being nervous bc I like him. I don’t want him to think I have a sexual interest in him when I dont, I never did, I’m demisexual (I don’t have sexual attraction before a romantic relationship). Reaching out to him has made me feel like I’m in over my head.

What do you do when the other person thinks you have a crush on them but you don’t anymore bc they’re making you feel uncomfortable?

(Please no ace-phobia in the comments! I’m trusting you! If you have opinions about it, please just answer the question instead. Please be kind ❤️)

#Advice #Relationships #Anxiety #help #demisexual #LGBTQIA

Can someone please give me guidance on my previous post? I’m pretty sure it’s the most recent one. I could use some help with this, Thank you. #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Advice