Openingup

× " Sooo When I Was A Kid I Was Forced To Eat Huge Plate's.. Of Food.. Soo That's Where My #Anorexia Began.. My Mother Would Alway's Over Served Plates Of Food... So I Didn't Like Being Called.. #fat #Chunky .. Etc.. Plus It's Also Where I Was Developing My #Anxiety #Depression ... I Wouldn't Eat Much And Would Make Myself Puke Until I Ended Up In The ER One Night... I'm Happy To Say That I'm Somewhat Free... From This Even Though Now I Litterly Watch My Weight And How Much I Eat Sadly... But I'm Happy At My Current Weight.. And As For My Look's I Have Never Considered Myself As A Beautiful Person... I Hate When Men Tell Me That I'm Beautiful To Them... Because In My Mind I'm Translating That They Just Want To Sleep With Me... And Try Not To Get To Know Me Kinda Thing... I Look Like I'm Alway's Pissed Off And The Truth Is That It's Not True... My Sleep Deprived And In Pain That's All... But I'm Also A Work In Progress... " × Sincerly, ☆ S.K. ☆ #Openingup

× For Me Being Alone And Independent Truly Make's Me Happy. Why You Might Ask ? My Answer Is Very Simple ♡ I Don't Have To Answer To Anyone... I Don't Have To Give Up Thing's Just To Please A Partner. I Can Finally Dress x Wear What I Damn Well Please Now. And Go To Sleep Whenever I Want Too. I Don't Have To Go To Place's That I Don't Want To Go Too. I Can Have My Very Own Friend's... And Talk To Whoever I Want. I Hated Being Controlled x And I Gave Up Thing's x Did Whatever The Other Partner Alway's Wanted. I Hated Having Unannounced Random Vist's In My Former Home Without My Say So. I Was " NEVER " Made A Priority. Now I Can Do That For Myself. Alot Has Changed Within Me. I Used To Be A Very Angery Miracle-Gro Human Being. Mainly Do To All The Losse's That I Have Experienced x And My Assult. I Lost My Soul Within Anger... Mood Swing's. No One Should Watch People Die In Front Of Them. Material Thing's Come And Go. It's A Good Thing That I Wasn't All About Brand Name's. I Was When I Was A Teen. I Don't Have To Keep Up With The Joneses. Spend Huge Amount's Of Cash. For Nothing. I'm Slowly Learning Within How To Be Happy x F. I.E.R.C.E . With My Body...Mind...Soul. My Mental Health Recovery Is A Never Ending Journey. My Physical Health Is A Battlefield Of Scar's x Non Stop Severe Pain. When That Effect's Me That's When My Depression Kick's In. And The Devil Called #Insomnia .. Wreaks Havok. This Is My Own Battle Within To Heal × Get Better. #Thank You #for Your Continued Support Mightie's × ☆☆☆☆ S.K. ☆☆☆☆#Openingup #t .W.

× The Beauty Within Myself Is Not My Face, Nor My Figure. The Real Beauty Within Myself Start's With Self-Love Even Though I Loathe It Sometime's. To Be Brutally Honest I Have Never Liked Myself. Why ? One Main Reason My #CerebralPalsy . Yeah People Still Look At Me Funny Etc. But I Can't Change Other's. Because They Have There Very Own Demon's Inside. But One Thing Is For Sure That I'm Starting To Finally Love Myself. Through My Poetry x Art Therapy. I Will Alway's Cherish All Of My Friendship's On Here The Doc But What I Value The Most Is Myself x My Poetry.. But I Will Alway's Love All Of You Beautiful Stranger's. Thank You! For Letting Me Be The Master Poet For This Entire Community Of Awsome People. All My Love Your Favorite Poet. ☆ Skadi Kvitravn ☆#Topic #Epression #Openingup

The other night at work, my coworker and I were talking about all that’s been happening in the world and it ended up with the subject of our mental well-being. He allowed me to tell him my whole rundown of the last few months of what’s been going on with me and it lead to a nice conversation. He opened up too about his past experiences with wanting to have someone who could be a listening ear and because of his experiences, it made him want to be of assistance to anyone who felt like they didn’t matter or no longer wanted to be alive. It was a total relief to talk about it because all of this has been sitting inside me while I’m at work and all they’ve seen is me being happy and jovial, but when I leave from there, sometimes I implode in the worst way. I have another coworker whom I’m forever in an emotional push and pull. I like the guy, but there are times that I have quickly devalued him because of the things he has done. I’ve even had moments when I’ve hated him when earlier I had admired him. He is a good person, but I find that I want to push him away sometimes. I’ve even been praying to avoid him most times, but he seems to be popping up more than before. We use to talk a lot, but when he started hanging out with the others, I would see him less and less. He didn’t say much to me for a while. And that put me in a tailspin because I felt like I had been abandoned by him. I don’t expect anything to come out of this at all, and even now, I’ll try to avoid him and he’s there either staring in my direction or he has something to say. I know that I can’t handle anything serious with my poor mental health and for that, I feel like I would only bring another person hell if they ever got close enough. #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Depression #devalue #Admire #Relationships #relationshipsarehard #openup #Openingup #openingupfinally #pushingpeopleaway #Feelingabandoned #ImListening

I decided to take some time off work because of my mental health. I had been dealing with a lot for a while now, and it finally took a toll on me. I finally opened up to my mom about my current state of mind (including the suicidal thoughts) which was hard to do. I did also opened up to a long time friend about my being severely depressed and she was very understanding about it. In the last few days before taking off work, I began to feel like the people I worked with didn’t really need me. I told a hand full of people that I was leaving for a while. I felt that the people that who once enjoyed my company before seemed to go off with other people and I felt it was best for me to leave without saying goodbye. Lately I’ve been feeling like my existence doesn’t really matter much at this point. I do think that there are other things wrong outside of just being depressed. So, I’ve decided to take a break from things right now. #severedepression #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #takingabreak #Depression #Openingup #SuicidalThoughts #GettingHelp #steppingaway

I think I’m at that point in my life where I need, and should, open up more. This has always been a problem of mine, but I feel like my emotions are gnawing at me and trying to break - or burst - free. But what scares me is being judged, mocked, or telling the wrong person about what’s going on. What to do?!
#vulnerability #EmotionalHealth #EmotionalNeglect #Openingup #emotional

it has been a rough couple of months. I’m having to restructure my whole life and in my mind has been racing through scenarios, trying to rehearse every tumble and fall i might suffer and i am devastatingly aware of it.

I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and I try every day to not let it take over me. Being highly functional means that most people in my life have no clue of the extent of the battle I face everyday to try and live a somewhat “normal” life. Invariably when I do open up about it I get confronted with responses of the like of “You overthink too much about everything. Anxiety can be very easily controlled by your state of mind. Say fuck all every now and then” .

These comments hurt more than my anxiety. It makes it seem like it should be easy. Just switch it off! Just don’t think about it! Just let go! Most of all it makes me feel alone and misunderstood. And then i shut down. I isolate myself.

I wish I could just make people understand that all I need to hear back when I vent is: “it’s ok to have a bad day. it’s ok to talk about it. tomorrow will be a better day and i’ll still be here to talk about it if you need to.” #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Depression #Openingup #Depression #alone #Isolation #donttellmetorelax